


Heartbreak

by PinkLotus (EspurrsVena)



Category: JO1 (Japan Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Friends, Heartbreak, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, no beta we die like real men, other members mentioned - Freeform, slight ynrk, they are also the only happy ones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29310744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EspurrsVena/pseuds/PinkLotus
Summary: One wants to confess to his crush finally.Another one witnesses his crush falling in love with someone else.One more person wants to confess to his childhood friend.And the last one tries to save two friendships.
Relationships: Kawanishi Takumi & Kono Junki, Kawashiri Ren & Kawanishi Takumi, Ohira Shosei & Shiroiwa Ruki
Kudos: 6





	Heartbreak

**Ren**

Ren doesn’t even remember how long he had that crush on Takumi. It’s been so long and yet he wasn’t able to make a step forward with the other one. For each step he had made forward, it seemed like the other one made a step backward. It was frustrating in a way but that was life. It wasn't always as easy as you wanted it to be, but that was okay.

He had met Takumi thanks to their shared circle of friends, mainly thanks to Junki. Ren had met Junki in college. They were studying the same major and started at the same time. They became friends fast and soon afterwards Junki introduced him to his friends – including Takumi. Maybe already since that first meeting Ren was crushing on the pink haired one. 

Takumi just had something that fascinated Ren from the first moment. The gap between his cute smile and his muscular arms for example. The sparkling in his eyes when he talked about something, he was passionate about. The slight cross eyedness he had when he was smiling or deeply thinking about something. Ren could watch him react to things all day and he wouldn’t grow bored. 

Also, Junki was his biggest supporter regarding Takumi. According to him Ren’s crush had been very obvious and since Junki knew the pink haired one since they were kids, he did his best to help his new friend. He made sure that the two ‘accidentally’ ended up doing something alone like going to the cinema or that they were dancing together – like in that moment.

Finally, he had gotten the chance to hold Takumi in his arms – even if it was just for a dance. The other one was clearly enjoying it, too, a bright smile gracing his face, and finally enough courage gathered inside of Ren. Tonight, he would tell him his feelings. Tonight, he will make last forever. 

It seemed like a light moment. Two friends having fun dancing together but it felt so much deeper for Ren. For months he had waited for a chance to be close to Takumi. It’s not that he hadn’t tried it, but something always went wrong. He had been unlucky over and over, but tonight the goddess of fortune seemed to share her blessings with him.

Maybe he was delusional, but dancing with Takumi just felt right. Having the slightly shorter one in his arms felt like that’s where he belonged. It caused some happiness inside of Ren he had never felt before. That’s how the songs described being in love – a feeling he could grow addicted to. 

The song ended and actually he didn’t want to let go of Takumi, but the other one wanted to go back to the snacks. Maybe it wasn’t that bad. Confessing in the middle of everyone was kind of embarrassing, so he followed him. With each second that passed some of the courage left him again, yet at the same time Ren was determined to tell him his feelings finally. Tonight would be the night. 

Once they finished the song, Takumi seemed to want to leave the dance area again. Ren knew he didn’t feel comfortable being the center of attention, thus he followed him back to their friends. Both Junki and Keigo had a bright grin on their face but Ren could only shake his head. He hadn’t confessed yet, but he knew that the two and especially Junki were waiting for that. 

However, once they were back in their circle, Takumi seemed to forget about him. His attention was on Junki who was cracking some jokes again. Playfully he hit the taller one against the shoulder and scolded him for being too loud once more, yet when Ren said something barely a reaction came. Sure, he laughed at Ren’s jokes, too, but his reactions lacked the intensity. 

There was also a spark of jealousy inside of Ren. He wanted to be the one who made Takumi laugh that much. He wanted to be the center of Takumi’s attention.  
But he stopped those thoughts. The situation would change, he believed in that. After tonight, he would surely become the one. He was sure of that. 

The group talked together for a little longer and it was obvious how Junki tried to make sure that Ren could spend additional time alone with Takumi. His friend tried his best to be annoying, but somehow it didn’t have the usual effect. Usually when it became too much for Takumi, he would retreat somewhere, yet tonight he seemed to enjoy the craziness. 

Ren’s original plan had been looking for Takumi after he needed a break from the party and confessing then to him. However, given the current circumstances he had to adjust his plans and confess in front of everyone most likely. Yet, he hadn’t spotted the right moment for that. 

Somehow, he felt like a hunter who was waiting for the right moment to catch his prey. Yet his intentions had been much purer. He wanted to make Takumi his boyfriend and hurting him was far from his intention. Yet just like a hunter he had to be patient and observant to catch the right moment to fulfil his goal.

For now, he was content with standing next to Takumi and seeing his smile and hearing him laughing. Sure, he wanted to be the reason for that and he was still determined to make that come true, but especially for something as important as he was planning to do, you needed the right moment or everything could go wrong.  
That didn’t mean he wasn’t enjoying the night with his friends. It had been fun so far, yet that one thing that was supposed to make the night even more memorable was missing. But it would come, he knew it. 

Before Ren could continue wondering about the situation and what he should do, Shosei came over. The blonde one looked like he was about to cry and Ren could imagine the reason already. Just like him he had planned to confess to his crush that night, but apparently that had gone wrong.

Not sure whether Shosei wanted to talk about everything in front of everyone, Ren excused themselves and went with him outside. “So, tell me what happened.” 

**Shosei**

Falling for Ruki was something Shosei never intended to do but it happened anyway. 

Looking back, it wasn’t even a huge surprise it had happened. The other one was just the right balance of perfection and imperfection and their personalities also had the right amount of aspects they shared and that were different. That he was also handsome and the one of the cutest smiles Shosei had ever seen in his life only made him fall deeper for the other one.

However, there was some aura around Ruki which made it hard for Shosei to make a move. Prince might have been nothing but a nickname, but there was some regal air around him. It made the blonde one sometimes feel like he should be glad that someone like Ruki had even noticed him and considered him as his friend. More than once Ren had told him that it was stupid and that Ruki wasn’t different from anyone else and that he shouldn’t think like that.

But then again, it was nothing new that Shosei had some self-confidence issues that he was working on since years. His friends did their best to support him and reassure him, but in the end Shosei had to fight with himself because he was his biggest enemy sometimes. 

That’s why it had taken months and a few supportive pushes from his friends to make him decide to confess to his crush. The party organised by Ren’s other friends seemed to be the perfect opportunity. He had dressed up to the nines, so that Ruki had to fall for him – at least that’s what Ren had told him when he saw him. 

Speaking of Ren, his childhood friend had tried to motivate him even further by announcing if Shosei confessed that night, he would try to do the same to his crush, Takumi, on that night.  
If the blonde one had been head over heels for Ruki, Ren was another level. Since meeting the pink haired one, Ren couldn’t stop talking about how perfect he was and Shosei truly hoped that the feeling was mutual. Since they were children, the silver haired one had been like a big brother to him and no matter what happened he was there for him. He deserved to find someone who liked, too.

It took a lot of courage and maybe one or two drinks for Shosei to approach Ruki that night. Yet just in the minute he started to make his way over to his crush, someone else popped up – Sho.  
Sho was one of their seniors and he was one of the nicest guys Shosei has ever met. You couldn’t help but like him instantly and listen to his advice. Yet there was a small – no, a huge problem.  
Sho also liked Ruki. 

Knowing that someone as amazing as Sho also liked Ruki and the rumours that those feelings might be mutual, surely didn’t help when you have a low self-confidence from the start. But the blonde one was determined that night and he had promised to do that. Also, he believed in the saying that Iif you don't try something, you have lost already.

Thus, he continued his way towards the so-called prince. But then Sho seemed to ask him to go outside. Everything inside of Shosei told him not to follow them, yet he secretly did – and regretted it soon. 

Unlike him, Sho was much more straightforward. When they were outside – and believed to be alone – he took Ruki’s hands and confessed to him. Seeing and hearing this hurt a lot, but the pain became worse when the other one happily threw his arms around him and confirmed that those feelings were mutual. 

Witnessing them made his legs nearly to give up, yet Shosei couldn’t risk being seen. This moment was meant to be private and as much as it hurt him, if that was what his crush wanted, he had to give him that privacy. As long as Ruki was happy he could find peace with that one day too. Yet for now his own pain became unbearable and he had to leave the situation.

Without realising what he was actually doing, his legs took him back inside and towards Ren’s direction. Ren always knew what to do or how to comfort him. He just hoped that he wasn’t ruining the other one’s plans with his own miserableness.  
Luckily, the moment the silver haired one spotted him, he took him outside – luckily somewhere else than where the new couple most likely still was – and started to ask what happened. 

That was the moment when everything broke inside of Shosei. His heart had broken already, but there had been a thin protective layer that made him able to leave the scene and ask for help. However, when he voiced what had happened this one broke, too, and tears started to roll down his face. 

“I’m so sorry for you.” Ren took him into his arms and gave him the best comfort he could offer in that moment. It wasn’t the arms Shosei wanted to be in but it couldn’t be helped. Ruki’s heart had chosen someone else. “You will find the right one day.”

He knew that his friend meant well, but Shosei didn’t even want to think about looking for someone else at that moment. The heartbreak was too fresh and painful. Hence, he just cried and hoped that once the tears stopped, he had become numb enough to continue the night in a way. “I had no chance against Sho, did I?”  
“It seems like. But that doesn’t mean that you are not the right one for someone else. Still, I’m sorry that this had happened.” You could hear in Ren’s voice how sorry he was and how much he would have loved to hear different news in that moment. But sometimes destiny was cruel. 

For a while he just cried and let Ren comfort him. But then he remembered that his friend also had a similar mission for the night. “How is your progress?” Shosei was still sniffing and the tears hadn’t fully stopped yet. He had no idea where it was coming from, but his friend handed him a handkerchief, so he could at least attempt to dry some tears from his face.  
“Non-existent. My original plan doesn’t seem to work, so I guess I either have to ask him for a minute alone or confess in front of everyone.” 

“It’s funny how shy you get around him." It was only a small smile that made its way on his face, but it was better than more tears for sure.  
“I know I know... I should finally do it, right? But for now, you-”  
“No, it’s okay. It’s better if I go home, I think. I don’t want to ruin your night.”  
“You don’t do that.” 

It might be true, but for Shosei it felt like that. At least one of them should have a happy end tonight. “It’s okay. I will leave now. Honestly, I don’t want to see the two tonight... I need time for myself.”  
“Yes, that might be better.” Together they made their way back inside, so that Shosei could inform some of his other friends that he was leaving. However, they had barely entered the room when the next heartbreak waited for them: They witnessed Takumi kissing Junki. 

**Takumi**

As long as Takumi could remember, he knew Junki and was annoyed by him. Yet the presence of his loud childhood friend was a constant he didn’t want to miss in his life at the same time. It took him years to realise the true nature of his feelings. That he liked Junki – a lot. 

It was like his parents always told him regarding girls. That you think you don’t like them but actually you like them a lot. That’s how he felt for Junki for years.  
A part of him had hoped that eventually he would fall out of love or fall in love to someone else, but it never happened. His heart and mind had decided on his loud friend. 

That had resulted in more than one heartbreak over the time. Junki was handsome and popular, thus he had a lot of admirers. But it was them who shared their first kiss.  
They were still young, in their last year of middle school and Junki was about to have his first date on the next day. He was nervous and wanted to be prepared for everything, so in his childish naivety he had asked Takumi for help. 

When they kissed a million butterflies exploded in Takumi’s stomach and that feeling echoed in his mind until this day, yet his friend seemed to be totally unaffected by that. He just apologised for having that weird idea afterwards and moved on as nothing ever happened. For the sake of their friendship Takumi did the same – but only on the outside. 

Even advancing to college didn’t bring a huge change. Their circle gained a few additions, Ren being the most prominent one. It didn’t take long for Takumi to notice that the silver haired one liked him but his own heart was still fixated on his childhood friend.  
However, Junki stayed unaware of his feelings the whole time. He seemed to think that all of Takumi’s affection was due to their years long friendship, that Takumi was just like that with him. Maybe it was meant to be like that, but then Junki began to support Ren in winning Takumi’s heart. 

It wasn’t like that he disliked Ren, no, Takumi liked the silver haired one – but only as a friend. He enjoyed spending time with him and those 'accidental' dates they went on, but there was nothing but friendship he felt for his new friend. That’s why he didn’t want to hurt him. Yet the nature of their situation made it impossible to avoid pain fully. Someone would have to suffer ultimately – a thought he didn’t like. 

This also made his own inner conflict even worse. He could have continued with the situation as it was, but having everything turned into something like a love triangle required some action from his side. He had to do something before everything turned for the worst. Yet he didn’t know what to do. 

He couldn’t ask any of his close friends. Junki or Ren would know it on the spot which would cause the worst case, thus eventually he asked Ruki for help. He wasn’t that close with him but they were no strangers either and he seemed to have some knowledge regarding love.  
His advice was simple: to finally confess to Junki when Ren wasn’t around. They could sort out things before the silver haired got wind of it and this could soften the blow.  
However, the timing was the problem. The group was always together. 

Unexpectedly, the night of the party gave him a chance. Besides Junki doing everything he could so that Takumi would spend time with Ren, a chance for him opened.  
Shosei, another friend of Ren, seemed to need help, thus the silver haired one left with him for a time. This was the now or never chance for the pink haired one – if there wasn’t his natural shyness. 

He knew he had to do something and that the time frame wasn’t that long most likely. But years of not acting on his feelings and the fact that they were surrounded by a lot of people made him freeze in a way. As much as he wanted to confess or do anything to make his feelings known to his friend, he just couldn’t do it. 

Still, time was ticking. Hearing Junki’s far too loud but also far too beautiful laughter made his heart beat faster and there was the chance that his friend might feel the same. He was the one who always initiated physical affection between them. He wasn’t like that with Keigo for example.

While Takumi was rather shy and had a hard time to be physically affectionate with others because of that, it felt natural when it came to Junki. Maybe that had been the reason why he felt for his friend – because he could be himself with him and his own shyness wasn’t building walls between them. 

Hence, when Junki laid an arm around Takumi and pulled him closer – something he had done a million times since they met – the pink haired one knew that the moment had come. He turned his face towards his friend. “Junki!”  
“Hm?” As expected, he seemed unaware of what would follow next, but that was okay. He would know it soon. 

Before he would lose any courage again, Takumi planted a kiss on the other one's lips and the time seemed to stop for a moment. Finally, he had done what he had dreamed about for years.  
Junki’s lips still tasted the same like all those years ago and the butterflies inside his stomach went wild. He wanted that moment to last forever, but then a desperate “No!” forced him back to reality. 

He pulled away from Junki and looked in the direction the no had come from.  
Ren had returned and witnessed everything. Something Takumi had wanted to prevent. He had taken too long. 

**Junki**

Junki didn’t know what the bigger shock in that moment was. That Takumi had kissed him out of nowhere or that Ren who had obvious feelings for the pink haired one had witnessed that. The worst of the worst had come together and he had no idea what to do. 

He hadn’t even known that Takumi had feelings for him.  
Sure, they had kissed once years ago, but they were stupid teenagers back then – at least he had thought so. Also, that Takumi was more affectionate with him than with other people was due to them knowing each other since they were kids. Takumi just needed time to let his guard down around people, so he had never even considered that possibility. 

Takumi had always been like a little brother to him. He loved him in this way and not a romantic one. Knowing that his friend felt more for him broke his heart in a way. He didn’t want to hurt him but he had to. He couldn’t act feelings just for the sake of making him happy, especially when there was someone else involved in a way. This was someone else was Ren. 

While he didn’t know Ren as long as Takumi because they had only met in college, they became close on the spot. Their vibes just fit together and Ren also fit perfectly into his circle of friends. When he discovered that the silver haired one had feelings for his childhood friend, he had been excited, because he had believed that they could be a cute couple for various reasons. 

Ren seemed to respect Takumi’s boundaries and worked slowly in breaking his shell and of course Junki supported him with that. He wanted his friends to be happy. 

Thus, it made him feel even worse about the current situation. Instead of being the one who helped his friends to become happy, he was the one who caused agony to both of them. If he had realised Takumi’s feelings, he could have prevented the mess that was unfolding in front of him.

Ren, who had just returned with Shosei – who looked like he had just finished crying – looked shocked and hurt. Junki wanted to tell him something, but for once no words were able to leave his mouth. He was speechless and he was sure that with every second he didn’t say something the situation became worse. Especially because Takumi was still clinging to him. 

“Ren... I...” He tried to find the right words but it was more difficult than a macroeconomics exam.  
“Junki, you knew it and still? I thought... I thought we were-”  
“No, it’s not like that!”  
“Then explain it to me.” There was so much pain in Ren’s voice which in turn hurt him. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. He hadn’t planned the evening to become like that. 

“Ren, I like Junki.” Before Junki himself was able to say anything, it was Takumi who started to speak. “I know that you like me but I like him since a long time.”’  
Besides that his childhood friend’s words were meant to help him in a way, they made everything worse for Junki himself. Hearing that Takumi liked him for a long time made him feel guilty for never noticing it. “I never knew.”  
“I know.” There was pain also in Takumi’s voice and with each second that passed Junki felt even worse. He had to fix that situation in a way, but it became unbearable for him, too. 

Hence, he pulled away fully from Takumi, brought some distance between them and he tried to make his way closer to Ren, yet the silver haired one took a step back. “Ren, really I didn’t know and I didn’t want to.” But did those words help, he wondered. With every word that was meant to make Ren feel better, it hurt Takumi and vice versa. There was no escape from that situation. “I’m sorry, Ren. And I’m sorry, Takumi.” Apologising was all he could do. He should have noticed something earlier. 

“It’s okay.”  
“You don’t need to apologise.”  
Maybe it was because they were still friends in a way or they just didn’t want to cause a bigger tumult, but he wouldn’t have minded if they were angry at him. He felt like he deserved that. 

“I will go home with Shosei. I need... time.” Junki wanted to comfort his friend, but this was probably the better choice. If he had been in Ren’s place, he wouldn’t be able to look at himself without that kiss coming into his mind. He just hoped that the saying ‘Time heals all wounds’ was true and their friendship wasn’t lost. “Okay. Please get home safely.” There might have been better words for that occasion, but those didn’t come to his mind. 

“It’s probably better if I go home, too.”, said Takumi after the other two had left.  
“You don’t have to.”  
“No, it’s better. I need time for myself, too.”  
“I’m sorry but-”  
“I understand. You don’t like me the same way.” 

“No, you were always like a brother to me.” Especially because the pink haired one was like a brother to him he didn’t want to cause pain to him, yet it was too late now. Hearts were broken and it was his fault in a way.  
“I see.”  
“Take care.” There was also more he wanted to tell Takumi but once again the right words didn’t want to come into his mind. It only added to his miserable feeling. 

Only him and Keigo were left in the end and the taller one seemed to take pity in him. He brought him a drink and let him lean against him. “This was a mess.”  
“I know... Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong.”  
“True.”  
“You don’t have feelings for me, do you?” That question might have been absurd on any other day, but after all the mess he just wanted to be sure. 

“Junkichi, you are handsome, but not that handsome.”  
“And for anyone of the others?”  
“Nah, I’m fine.”  
“Good.” At least one of his friends wouldn’t go through a heartbreak that night. That was truly something good. 

There was nothing Junki could do in that moment, but hoping that he didn’t lost two friendships in one night. Both Ren and Takumi meant a lot to him and he wanted to see them as happy as Sho and Ruki seemed while dancing together in the future. Same for Shosei of course.  
But for tonight he felt helpless and guilty.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
> Well, that story was quite the challenge for me and went through quite some rewrites until I was somewhat satisfied with it...  
> This time this story has no happy end but it's not as bad as the last time I didn't write a happy end, right? haha  
> I hope you enjoyed it/the pain anyway!  
> See you~


End file.
